Managing Perfectionism


Being a perfectionist doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. Setting high standards can drive us to work hard to achieve our goals. However, the problem comes when those high standards are unrealistically high for us. For example, maybe your goal is to get an A in a class – this goal makes you focused, and you work hard to be organized throughout the semester. But then you might start having thoughts like, “I must get an A on this exam and if I don’t, then I am a failure.” When we add that last piece – the negative label we attach to ourselves if we fall short of our expectations –  we can be discouraged from trying again next time, and this type of thinking can really destroy our self-confidence.


I would say that I can be a perfectionist at times, particularly around academics. I have always had high expectations for myself around grades, which worked for me because it pushed me to study hard. But I notice that even after I write a test, for instance, I constantly tell myself that I didn’t do good enough even though I haven’t gotten a mark back yet. And even if I get a good grade, I focus less on the fact that I did well and more on how I could do better next time. I don’t take the time to give myself credit for doing well because I am always focused on what I did wrong rather than what I did right.

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I Am Allowed to Make Mistakes (And So Are You)


This one is for all the recent graduates out there – much has been said and written about how tough life is when you’re a student, and how difficult it is to find a job once you’re out of school.job-search-tips-recent-college-grads.jpg

But what if you find a job, and somehow your life is STILL HARD?!

I sort of thought that all my problems would sort themselves out relatively quickly if I found a job that paid more than minimum wage. Any job, really. Growing up, I could never really picture myself with a career. Continue reading

I Just Can’t Even (An Apology)


Lately, I seem to have been robbed of my ability to even.

By that I mean do ANYTHING whatsoever that isn’t mandatory or requires energy. I’ve spent A LOT of time sitting in my office or on my bed staring at the ceiling. Or the walls. Or a screen. Or the cat. Anything, really.

Even Queen B has her bad days.

I have not spent enough time doing work or taking care of myself. I’m miserably behind at work, frequently late, and my boss is not impressed with me. I can’t seem to do tasks like remembering to pay rent and eat food and oh my god return all the clothes you bought online that don’t fit, you complete moron, despite having thoughts like that over and over again. I’m pretty sure I haven’t done the dishes in three weeks. The Amazing Charlotte (yup, that’s her name now) came over once and directed my cleaning while playing the Jeopardy theme song, but I can’t exactly rely on that.

All of this has caused me to withdraw from the world, both socially and professionally, IRL and online. I’ve spent a considerable amount of time with my two best friends, but other than that I very much want to be alone. I had to prioritize some things over others and make some tough decisions, decisions which have not been fair to those around me, and I feel terrible about those. I can guarantee you that I’ll probably regret them. But they are necessary for now.

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